Curious.  A sense of loss.  Not the tangible, angst-ridden, tearing away of something dear or precious, the missing of some important part of one's life, nor even that particular feeling of an experience one will never have again.  Any of these might be appropriate, conceivably, but no, before you ask, it's nothing to do with the play just completed, miss it though I do; miss the cast and crew though I do.

It's just an absence of something.  Something I presumably once had, and no longer have.  Buggered if I can put my finger on what though.  I've spent all day prodding the various scars in my psyche to see if any of them are responsible, but to no avail.  I seem to be in a comparatively well-balanced mood.  And no, I've thought of that too - I don't seem to be missing my habitual self-pity; it's there hiding at the back, pretending to be an aspidistra.

The only thing I can think of is that, for various reasons, some recent and painful paranoia is temporarily not going to be a problem.  Am I really missing the pain of that?  Is that it?  Never bloody happy, me.

...well, the Counterfeit Skin "family" in this instance:  James, James, Chris, Jon, Dean, Ellie, Lauren, Amy, Aaron, Jack, and of course Jason and Kirrie.

Just the best bunch of people.

I generally don't remember my dreams in very great detail when I wake up, so one like last night's, where I can remember most of the "narrative", is worth writing down - as much to remind myself that it does happen sometimes, as anything else.  It's not particularly interesting, I don't think, just unusual for me to recall the details.

I was on a train.  Not sure where to, except that I remember that I had a fair bit of luggage, both with me, and in some sort of cargo hold, rather like on a plane.  At some point in the journey, I became convinced I needed to get off - I may have missed my stop, or somesuch.  I remember a lot of thrashing around trying to get all my luggage together - which seemed to comprise all my current costumes for the play - and a large CRT monitor.  I think I eventually left some of my stuff in the hold.  Everything was yellow.

Leaving the train, I was in a tube station.  A huge one - many many lines. Almost no people though - and all the last trains were leaving just as I arrived.  There was a lot of running down endless tiled tunnels, trying to find a line that was still open.  I could tell that the station was closed though, because they'd lowered the ceilings on all the tunnels to a crawling height, to stop people wandering about.

It all fades out then.