The conclusion is inescapable:  The life I'm used to is clearly on the threshold of its ending.  A simple glance at my bank statement makes that abundantly clear.   The last three years have been a wonderful time; perhaps, who knows, a wonderful experiment that will soon be over.  Well, maybe, I hope not, but something's clearly going to have to Change. My dear. And not a moment too soon.

Odd thing is, unlike most of the changes that have occurred in my life so far, for this one I have no plans whatsoever. None.

On the one hand, that's quite terrifying, at least a 6.5 on the sleep-deprivation scale, yet on the other hand, the feeling of exhilaration and freedom is quite unprecedented.

It's not imminent, nor is it (yet) an emergency, but it's certainly soon.  What will I do?  I could make conscious changes to avoid the Big Change, or I could just follow the river over the rapids.  Reinvent self to avoid, or allow involuntary reinvention to sweep me away.

There's a sort of sadness, I won't deny, but remarkably little panic.  This may change, of course!

Maybe life will begin at fifty.  It will certainly have changed by then!